Tears hover where the edges of beauty and tragedy merge. And the strings of sadness pull gently but insistently on each other. My son sleeping next to me, his peace, his warmth, his breath all miraculous. Anticipatory change. Anticipatory loss. My husband friend lover living half a world away with no clear path back to me. Children losing fathers in Ukraine. Their stories on the radio. The untold stories of children in Afghanistan, Yemen, Somalia, Ethiopia, Eritrea. The kindness of strangers. The hatred. My patients - mothers – having left beloved children hundreds of miles away for hope. The proud smile of Leila Jackson Brown at her mother. The proud insistent desire to sow division and fan flames by those who badger her mother. The vision of a loving radiant interracial family on the global stage. The distortion of the concept of love by those with power. The frailty of my father. Our finite time together feeling small. A house full of memories and ghosts; a looming project of excavation and deconstruction. My brother’s suffering. His death. His birthday yesterday. The larger world amplifies the pressure I feel in this season of my life. Nothing was perfect and nothing will ever be. Grace is holding all the extremes in one handful and understanding the necessity of it all.
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I am setting up this blog to chronicle my adventures of babycatching in Africa. This site is for all of you who have loved, encouraged, and supported me over the past 29 years. This is my evolving story of stepping out into the unknown and meeting life as it first makes its way into the world.
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