the Namesake

Friday night when I came home Chimwemwe told me that Mr Aisa's (the gardener at the Kaponda's) sister in-law had given birth that day at Bottom hospital to a little girl. I flipped through my mental images of all the women and babies I had seen that day trying to figure out who she might have been, thinking that if only I had known who she was I would have been at her side as much as possible. Chimwemwe didn't know the birth story but she told me that the mother fainted on Saturday and soon before she was discharged. I imagined that she was one of the women delivered by a different midwife.

As it turns out Mrs Black, the sister-in-law, lives only a few houses down the road so Sunday I went with Chimwemwe and Ekari to visit her and to see how she was doing. Mr Black met us at the gate and led us to the small room where he and his wife live behind the main house. As soon as I saw Mrs Black we both laughed, her birth was the vacuum delivery that I had assisted with and I had actually spent several hours by her bedside on Friday before the delivery. With Chimwemwe's help we talked for a bit, I did a brief exam, held her baby (who I was very happy to see was doing well post-resuscitation), and left. As for the fainting, I remember her telling me during labor that she had not eaten since the previous afternoon and Sunday she said that she was just weak from the birth and lack of food. Thankfully it was nothing more serious than that. On seeing her and the baby again the warmth from my heart flowed up to my cheeks and made me feel a bit heady but I also thought, "I wonder if she liked the care I provided?" It's strange to be so close to someone, to see and care for them only as you would a stranger, and then later learn that you have a fairly close connection. Chimwemwe told me that if anyone asked she would say yes, so we didn't ask.

Monday evening when I got home, Ekari told me that Mrs Black had come by to thank me (I had sent her some Ibuprofen). Then Tuesday a while after I came home, Chimwemwe said to me, "Oh, I almost forgot, Mrs. Black was back and she wants you to name the baby." Chimwemwe is often sarcastic and sometimes it's difficult to know if she's serious or not so I laughed but then both Ekari and Mrs. Chirwa confirmed that the story was true.

At first I felt completely overwhelmed (honored but overwhelmed) . . . how could I pick a name for this child? a name that will be heard, spoken, and written thousands of times over her lifetime? what kind of a name should it be? would the parents like it? No one wanted to help me decide, they all agreed it must come from me. So after worrying over it a bit, I decided I would give her the name that was given to me.

Two weeks or so after arriving in Malawi, the four girls at the house (Chimwemwe, Ekari, Maggie, and Yankho) decided that I needed a Chichewa name. So, one night over dinner they spent about 10 minutes deliberating in Chichewa. I heard some names I recognized flying back and forth followed by sounds of general consent and silence. Yankho said, "Ok, we have decided that your Chichewa name is Tianjane (tea-on-JOHN-ny)." Tianjane means something like "we should be friends" or "we should be together" or "we should get along." I like the name very much and now a small handful of people are calling me Tia.

This morning at 7am Ekari and I went to see Mrs Black and give her the name. As we walked in the door Mrs Black laughed, handed me the baby, and asked Ekari if we had come with a name. I told her, via Ekari, that I had been given the name by people I liked very much and that I also like the meaning of the name, so I would give it to her daughter wishing her the best. Tianjane. Mrs Black smiled, rolled the name over her tongue a few names, and said "Cha bwino" (OK). That was it. She left Ekari and me for a few minutes in the room, while she resumed her morning work, free as long as Tia was in my arms. Tia's eyes were wide open when I first took her from her mother, but slowly as I held and rocked her they closed, and as she was drifting to sleep - becoming still and quiet - this 6 day old little girl smiled a big full smile. And then, just in case I had missed the first smile she smile two more times.